The Hard Days

When you're a little girl, no Fairy Tale or Love Story ((or even your own PARENTS!)) tell you the TRUTH about relationships. I don't know about you, but I was never kidnapped by a green lady with warts on her nose, and thrown in a tower to await a Knight upon a white stallion to save me. I never bit the apple, or gave my voice to an octopus. Maybe I'm just not the Princess type.

In REAL relationships, their are bad days in the "Happily Ever After". Yes, ladies....in EVERY Happily Ever After. So please, for the love of everything blogger::::STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE PERFECT! Now, I am not saying that I want to hear about it every time your Hubba-licious forgets to put the toilet seat down, or gives the kids candy before bed, or about that time you found a phone number in his cell under "That Girl From The Bar", or anything crazy like that. Keep those details to yourself. But, why oh WHY do we all feel like we have to pretend that LIFE isn't real?! When did it become a *whisper* when couples hit a rocky patch? When did this become ok?

I am happily IN Love. And yes, that is LIGHT YEARS away from "Love". If you don't know the difference, I blame Disney & Facebook. ((Just because you have a cute profile picture of him kissing you and changed your status to "In a Relationship" DOESN'T make it official!)) Having his/her name in little blue letters on your screen next to "Relationship" doesn't mean you've passed the test. I look around at what some of us constitute as love, and I am sad. I look at people and see them flaunting their relationship and diving in so fast. ((And yes, this is coming from the girl who met a man...fell in love...moved in...and got matching "wedding band" tattoos all within 90 days. Hush your gums. LOL)) Diving in is all well and good, but ((ready for a hot dose of Reality??)) the dive ISN'T the scary part. The SWIMMING is. I think every relationship is like this::::

We both start off at the edge of a cliff.
We either choose to hold hands and JUMP in....or not.
Once we hit the water, we splash and play and touch and we have never been so happy.
Then your legs get tired, and you see an island....
So you swim.
You swim until your tired body crawls upon the shore.
You're sleepy, achy, and a mess....but, you made it together. And that's all that matters.
You set up camp, build a fire, find clean water, and bunker down.
But your island was small.
You've run out of food, fast.
Again to the Ocean you look.
In the distance, a small speck can be seen.
You take a deep breath, look at each other and your feet glide back to the water.
You swim, falling in and out of rhythm as you go.
Once again you reach the shore.
This time you reach the sand, only to find that their is no shelter.
You stay as long as you can handle weathering the elements, but all the while you keep looking to the water.
The day comes, and the waves call you both once again.
The sister island looks a little farther than the last two.
It takes you both a little longer to decide to get your feet wet.
But....he takes your hand and guides you in.
Your muscles SCREAM, your lungs BURN, this swim is the hardest one yet.
You stroke through the water, pushing on even through the pain.
Your bodies collapse on the rough, coarse beach.
It's heat is unwelcome and your throat begs for water.
You search for water together, only to find none.
You both cry, and yell....
But, neither of you reaches for the others hand.
Both walk to the waters edge.
It is THIS moment.....
It is THIS swim, that breaks most people.
Inevitably, one of you will choose dry land this time.
One of you will not see the Ocean and it's future islands as holding any promise or any hope.
One of you will stay, and the other....will swim for that Island.

You see, the HARD part of every relationship isn't finding the perfect Beach. The hard part is reaching the Beach, and seeing the flaws and resolving to jump into the water to fix them. TOGETHER. It is the couple who cannot enter into the salty waves, and reach the next shore together that loses the fight.

So, friends.... just hear me out. In a World and a society plagued by divorce & heart ache LISTEN::: when you reach the water, do what your Grandparents did. SWIM. Don't give up because it's easier to set up camp alone and wait for another hopeless swimmer to wash up on your shore to keep you company.ESPECIALLY if you have children. SWIM. Swim long and hard and swim until you can't swim anymore. Take a second and float, catch your breath, and KEEP on swimming. If you reach the shore, and your partner is stuck in a wave, DO NOT be too proud to jump back in and admit you WANT them to reach that next shore with you. SWIM.

I've encountered many a hectic and stressful situation in my day, with my Love. I entered into a relationship  with a Man who had a 4 year old, was separated, and expecting a baby on the way. I jumped into Mama-ness and "marriage" all at once. I was 21 years old, and looking back....I am so very, very proud of myself and of how strong my relationship is. We have survived his ((much LONGer than anticipated, but much appreciated after the long wait)) divorce, custody issues, financial woes, loss of job, and every other Island that God has set in our path. But, on our journey through our Islands we have seen beautiful days full of sunshine & laughter. We have seen our eldest son graduate from Pre-school AND Kindergarten. We have watched Holden take first steps and heard his first words. We have packed and unpacked and packed AGAIN ((lol)) moving our family into new and wondrous places where memories are made. We got OUR first Dog. We have a beautiful Daughter, and so much  LOVE. It is the Beaches that we should all focus on, and we should build up our strength for the swim. The time in the water isn't what we will remember as we take our last breath.

So, to all of you who are in REAL relationships having had to swim.....I'm here with you. You are not alone. I am in love, and I am happy :0) I have had BEAUTIFUL beaches, and I have seen terrible storms. But, no matter how hopeless things may seem at times---I will always enter into the water ONE more time with him. And as long as he swims by my side, I know we will be ok.

<3