Saturday June 16, 2012.
That's the day I almost threw up and had a panic attack all before I was even out of bed.

It was the day of my first scheduled wedding, and I was so far beyond nervous I was contemplating inventing a new word for what I was feeling. (((I ended up with like 17 vowels and a single consonant. It clearly wasn't my day for word inventions, not with all the panic and mind fluster I had going on.)))

Thank God Heather was spending the day with me, holding a camera herself.
If it wasn't for our chatter in the car....I may have never calmed down! LOL

But, once at the Church.....
Once our day officially started.....
I wasn't nervous anymore.
Behind my lens I am confident and I am happy.
 I smiled ALL day.

The couple was beyond adorable, and so fun to work for!
The Bride spoke little to no English....so the Groom had to do some interpreting. But, even with the language barrier, it was plain for Heather and I to see that they were mucho...MUCHO in love. :0)

The bride was GORGEOUS, and I swear when she laughed it was the prettiest thing ever. :0)
She was absolutely stunning!

And can we just talk about her shoes for ONE second....
((Come on, if you know me you know I have to....LOL))

I mean seriously.....Look at this!

They were so cute, and once we all got to the arboretum...they really loosened up!

:::Photo by Second Shooter-- HEATHER PURCELL ((Coming soon to "The Ardent Lens Photography")):::

They were so cute, and it was a boat load of fun!

They are so obviously and blatantly in love, it was hard NOT to smile when you were near them.
They really were the perfect subjects for a day like this, they weren't acting....
You could tell it really was the happiest day of their lives.

It was SO fun, and not at all scary like I thought it would be when i first woke up :0)


I mean.....who could have any sort of anxiety when they spend their day watching and photographing moments like this?!?!

((Tom & Natali Schimpf  06.16.012))

PS-Heather:::

You did an AMAZING job and we were a much better Team than I even thought we could be! You need to get yourself back behind a lens, you look BEAUTIFUL and HAPPY there.

THANK YOU! :0)

Adventures in Sibling-ism::: Part Two

Gavin & Nola

I-----was scared $h*!less when Sean and I sat down to tell Gavin and Holden that we were going to have a baby. We had been asking them for months if they wanted a new baby, and they always ALWAYS said "Yes". But, still....I was deathly afraid that Gavin would have anxiety about another pregnancy. SOOOOOO much had changed in his life the last time one of his parents was pregnant, I was scared he would panic thinking that the news of my pregnancy was code for MANY more changes to come.

But, I had nothing to worry about. Both boys were very excited. ((Though Gavin did ask a TON of questions frequently...just checking in to make sure that the status quo was the same.)) We tried to make it fun! (((I think we did a good job, Right?!))

I tried to make the boys as involved as possible. I wanted them to know our Love was going to GROW, not dwindle. Gavin came with me to Babies R Us to stock up on bibs and diapers. He was there to hold my Nola-Belly as she kicked and moved. He thought it was especially funny when he would put his ear to my belly...and she would kick his head. HAHA! I wanted him to be certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that HE was still JUST as important as he had always been and that he was not going to get pushed aside.

He bonded with my belly much more quickly and intensely than I expected. He would ask to sit by me, and just stare at it. He would get REAL close to my tummy and yell "HELLO IN THERE!" then ask if she would remember his voice. ((((So super cute)))) My FAVORITE picture that I have EVER taken, is of Gavin and Nola-Belly. It was one of the most amazing moments in my life, and the relationship and acceptance he had during my pregnancy is something I will never forget.

When Nola came, and the boys were brought to the hospital to meet her....Gavin had a rough time. Hospitals make him uneasy, and seeing me all hooked up and pale made matters worse. He had a little anxiety attack and asked to go home. Part of my heart broke, because he wanted Me and Daddy and Nola to go home too....but, I had just delivered a baby 3 hours earlier! We certainly couldn't join him on his journey back to a comfort zone for him. My heart ached, partly because he was sad and partly because I was. I had envisioned the day of delivery being spent as a family of FIVE. But, my son needed to feel safe, and even though I had a new born in my arms....Gavin was and is my Baby. He needed to go. But not before getting some lovin' on his sister, and a HUGE hug goodbye!


Once we were home and things were settled, he took to her instantly. he LOVED all the pink outfits and hair bows, completely intrigued by how different it is having a girl in the house. He probably won't ever admit it, but he loved ((and still loves!)) helping pick out her clothes :0) He loved playing peek-a-boo with her, and seeing her smile. Nine out of every ten pictures I have of Nola smiling, I have because Gavin is off camera making silly faces. And the BEST ones, are when they are smiling together. She adores him.

He is a great brother, always very concerned about where she is, what she's doing, and if she is ok. He is constantly checking in on her, and is much more patient this time around when baby-crying-sounds fill the air.  He is a great Big Brother, and loves saying he is a "Big-BIG-Brother"...because he has done this twice ;0)

They really are just too cute together.....and I love watching EVERY moment.

Sibling Love EST 02.25.11

Adventures in Sibling-ism::: Part One

                        Gavin & Holden

When I met Gavin he was an only child, with a baby brother on the way. We talked frequently about the baby growing in Mommy's belly...and we made special trips to the computer all the time to stare at the screen and pictures of her tummy.

We used to look at this picture alllllllllll the time :0)
"I think I can see him kicking in Mommy's belly in the picture, Colie!!!"
He was so stinking cute!
((((((Adorable Preggo Holden Belly a la Heather Purcell)))))

He talked about the baby all the time and how Holden was coming to play with him. I watched him transform from being a child who was used to being the center of attention for 4 years...into a Big Brother who needed to share the spotlight for the Brand new Bundle in his life.

Everyone loves a Baby, and let's face it...they need more time and attention. They need to be held and fed and changed...and that all takes time. No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to "evenly" divide time between children when one of them is an infant.

Gavin certainly had his moments but, for having a WORLD of changes thrust upon him with Daddy((Sean)) having me in his life as well as moving in, and also having Mommy((Heather)) in a new relationship and new home too...he honestly handled it like a Pro!



He was interested in how to feed Baby-Holden and how to turn on the baby swing, and why Holden liked putting things in his mouth. When Holden started to toddle......things inevitably got more chaotic. Gavin didn't always enjoy Holden being his shadow, but he was also a great teacher and a wonderful best friend. He would tell everyone and anyone who put their hands near His Holden that they needed to wash their hands first and ask myself or Sean first before they just scooped him up. When Holden started to talk, the "Brotherly-Love" moments became more interesting. Gavin had very little patience for when Holden would mimic, and yet he loved teaching him new words when HE decided it was time. He was a great teacher. They were ((and ARE)) hysterical and beautiful to watch.

Gavin and Holden have a bond like no other, and I find comfort in knowing that no matter which home they sleep at whether it's ours or Mommy's....they have each other. A special little Buddy who will follow the other through life. Someone who will have the same stories and memories, and share the same secrets. I love knowing that. And I think they do too <3

::::Brotherly Love EST 08.02.2008::::

I'm Catholic....we don't clap.

A very good friend, and Mommy of my baby boys, called upon me for photographic aide of a monumental event in her life. She was choosing to get Baptized (((or as I called it, her "Dunk-Day")))

Now I agreed to go, very excited to have been invited (1) because I love when people want me to take pics and (2) because i was honored that she wanted me there.

I was walking in....expecting to attend "Church".

What I actually walked into was a dimly lit room sprinkled with faded blue lights, full of people, and VERY loud music. (((like--- electric guitars, and a drummer....in a box?!? Why oh why, is he in a box???)))

I listened. I observed. I was taken aback by the way people were speaking out and clapping.

I am Catholic.
We do NOT clap.

I am used to a BIG brightly lit church, one with stain glassed windows, and full of Men dressed in robes.

I was seated with an open heart and an open mind.

Willing to take in what the experience had to offer.

I left feeling....uncertain?

The experience had be, different. That's for sure.

But, my babies seemed happy and contented there. And especially for Gavin, this is a BIG deal.

I went home and spoke with Sean.

Maybe we will adventure their as a Family ourselves and see how it feels? Who knows.

I miss going to Church and feeling like it mattered, rather than it just being an obligation.

And unfortunately having an Aspie kid who tics and twitches and needs a little bit of understanding... My good 'ol friendly St. John's isn't quite the match my family needs.

I mean, God made us all. No matter how Aspie or Un-Aspie we are! And I think He expected us all to grow and evolve as our society does... Is it really a bad thing to add texting and technology to the service? It's certainly something I'm not used to, but maybe something that is more suited to mine and Sean's unconventional lifestyle.

A second trip, perhaps?

(((Maybe even just to figure out why they shove the drummer in a box!!! LOL)))

Hmmm......I guess we will see!!

:::::Regardless, what REALLY mattered about my Sunday-Church-Experience::::: 

HAPPY DUNK-DAY HEATHER

Where there is LOVE....There is LIFE

*Getting Fit = Living Life & Learning to Love MYSELF*

During my new adventures in getting fit, I find that I now have plenty of time to explore the deep and curious places in my mind. Having added an hour into each day to running, I have since realized that this simultaneously added in a full hour of solidarity. I am enjoying my new found time to ponder all of life's ponderments. ((Yes, i invented a word))

While I will admit that my mind does wander into those hateful places of bill paying and grown-up worries from time to time..... more often than not, I spend my time reflecting on what I have to be Thankful for.

Thankful for::::
Sean & Nichole (( 4 years, and going STRONG))
A relationship that is so perfectly-imperfect.
I love this Man with all my heart, and some days....
I don't feel like I deserve him.
He is my everything, and I am grateful everyday.
We have been to hell and back.
But, I am still so IN love with him.
<3

Gavin Niles Liam
For my Little Professor.
Yes, Asperger's adds to the chaos that is my Gavin.
But...I wouldn't change him for all the money in the World.
He makes me think, and reminds me to be serious at times.
He made me a Mama.... and I cannot thank this Little Wonder enough.
I love my baby boy.
<3

Holden Archer
I am Thankful for my Paleontologist.
I am thankful for "Rawwwrs" and for "I Love You's"
He cracks me up, and reminds me that I need to be silly.
He is the absolute definition of  BOY.
I love my babiest boy.
<3

 

Nola Ainsley Fallon
Our Nola-Bean-Burrito
She blessed our life, and answered our Pink Prayers.
I enjoy every moment of playing with her hair and picking out dresses.
She was a "First" for both Sean and I, and that means SOOOOO much to us.
She is beautiful, and she is FULL of personality.
She touches a place in my heart that I didn't know existed.
I love my Little Lady.
<3

A Little Rekindling

Every relationship takes work.
There....I said it.
The "ugly" thing no one likes to talk about.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, we all walk around pretending that we never fight with our significant other. We all post our status updates about how wonderful and happy and in love we all are *insert vomit noise here*. Well, guess what? Sometimes, Love sucks. Sometimes, you fight. Sometimes, you don't fight....but things just get....weird?

Well, guess what? I decided to spill a little about my perfectly IMperfect relationship. Maybe it will make you feel normal, because we ALL have bad days :0) And that's OK!

Sean and I have been saying for 2 or 3 months now, that we felt "off". Something just wasn't the same between us. We weren't arguing or sending one another to the couch....but something was just----odd, for lack of a better word.

We talked it out, tried to explain how we each felt. And came to the conclusion that for whatever reason we weren't "clicking" like we always have. he said he felt like we were on the Same page of the Same book....just on different lines. I said I felt like we were trying to fit an oval into a circle. So close....and yet so far.

After 2 months of trying to talk it out, I finally had an idea.

Sean left the house clad in a dress shirt and tie, heading for the Supermarket after Nola went to sleep last night. I hopped in the shower and got dressed up because I was going on a first date......with the man I've been with for 4+ years. I put on a fancy dress, did my hair and make up and pulled out the fancy perfume. I received a text saying, "Can't wait to come over for our date. I'm bringing dinner, see you soon!" I blushed and texted back "Can't wait to meet you.....hope you remembered the wine and dessert ;0)"

He got on our front porch and knocked....((I will admit I giggled, but tried to take this whole 'we've never met before' thing seriously.)) I answered the door and let him in, he told me I had a nice apartment and asked where the kitchen was so we could make dinner together. ((He was much better at this than I anticipated!))

We got into the kitchen, made our fancy shrimp cocktail our dinner and poured some wine. We headed out to the front porch and lit all our candles, and asked each other questions like we had just met. It was ridiculously stress relieving. I was surprised at how much FUN we both had doing it. It was silly at first, yes. But after a few minutes we were both giggling and flirting like teenagers.

We went inside and watched a movie, he asked if he could kiss me ((You know.....because he was being a gentleman on our very first date)). It was hot. It was romantic. It was adorable. It was everything we needed.

We woke up today, and didn't have that funny-weird-something-is-wrong feeling anymore. We giggled all day, and played and laughed like we used to when we first met.

*So in Love*