They Aren't So Little Anymore

Sean and I have explained on numerous occasions to the boys why he and I are together, how we came to be. Never in much detail. It was never really asked of us.

One night this week, I had put the tiny two to bed, and the boys were finishing up a drink and brushing their teeth in the bathroom, as I readied myself for bed across the hall.

Holden walked into my room, as he normally does, but instead of hugging me and going about his travels to his own bed....he plopped down on mine. I looked at him sideways, and he grinned.

Gavin waved at me as he began to pass (you know, the cool preteen that he is, sometimes he skips the goodnight kisses.) our bedroom door....caught himself mid stride, having realized Holden didn't look like he was making any progress on getting to the third floor, and he plopped, too.

Then.....they talked. 

They talked like I've never had them speak to me before.

They asked questions about so many things. They asked about my life before I met their Daddy. They asked about Sean and Heather together. They asked why they ended up apart. They asked about marriage, and divorce. They asked about my parents. They asked about Seans parents.

So.
Many.
Questions.

But...
Then, even more unexpected than the asking...

They started to SHARE.
They shared with me about their first memories. Some happy, some sad. So many I didn't expect. They think about things, that are deeper than I realized they do.

Gavin remembered meeting me.
That....well that about killed me.
I tried to resist the crying, because it freaks him out. (Aspergers + preteen = please dont cry in front of me, I get all spastic)

But, alas. I could not. I knew it was coming. Knew I couldn't hold it for long. I held out as long as I could, in my defense.

I finally gulped the air, and it caught in a firey pocket in my throat, burning at me to shed my tears and hold him. And he shocked me by rubbing my back, and not being freaked out at all.

He let me go, I wiped my eyes...and we all just continued.

It lasted over 2 hours. Stories, memories, and me being able to explain things a little more because the age appropriate-ness has changed. They're not so little these days.

It may have been one of my top three memories with each of them. (Third only to the day I met each of them, and the separate days that I *knew* I was a Mama to each of them. The day something changed and I knew we were family).

I don't think I'll ever forget how I felt once they did finally hug and kiss me, and adventure to their room. While it was happening, I knew it was special. And once it was over, I wanted to jar the magic they had left in the room behind them. They had no idea the gift they had just given to me.

And, someday, at their graduation party, or maybe their wedding reception....maybe I'll retell the tale ♡