I did not want a baby. We were not trying for a baby. Sean will tell you, I'm not the crying type...but, I cried myself to sleep in his arms more than once those first 3 months.
I questioned my faith, and thought about terminating the pregnancy.
We announced early, because it scared me that I had contemplated such a thing. I needed positivity to surround me. I needed people to tell me how wonderful it was, and how excited they were.
Then began the journey of "fake it til you make it". And, when he finally kicked within me....I was no longer acting... I was for sure in love.
Then began the journey of "fake it til you make it". And, when he finally kicked within me....I was no longer acting... I was for sure in love.
But, I don't like when things don't go as planned. I need a plan. His surprise existence made me question everything.
What's my parenting style?
Why?
How will I feed him?
Why?
How do my children get educated?
Why?
How do I approach my babies milestones?
Why?
How do I get medicated?
Why?
I researched cloth diapering, breastfeeding, cosleeping, essential oils, homeschooling, babywearing, e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.
Over time, the more you educate youraelf, the more you want to know.
Most recently.... I've taken a dive into cruelty free research.
Sean and I went vegetarian several years ago, for about 10 months. But, I was a stay at home Mom and he was not yet medicated...so, income did not allow us to continue.
Sean and I went vegetarian several years ago, for about 10 months. But, I was a stay at home Mom and he was not yet medicated...so, income did not allow us to continue.
This time around I had several helpful tools on my side: Pintrest, Instagram, and Facebook (much better than Myspace for things such as finding support and encouragement) and several IRL vegetarians/vegans.
I watched documentaries, did research, and timing just aligned.
My younger sister is finally healthy and happy, after a long battle with heroine addiction. And, I didn't realize it until she got clean...but, I think I was punishing myself all these years for not being able to protect her. For carrying on with my life, and being happy...while she was stuck in Hell. I realized while she had her addiction, it fyelled my own. With food.
My younger sister is finally healthy and happy, after a long battle with heroine addiction. And, I didn't realize it until she got clean...but, I think I was punishing myself all these years for not being able to protect her. For carrying on with my life, and being happy...while she was stuck in Hell. I realized while she had her addiction, it fyelled my own. With food.
I met a wonderful chick who happened to be vegan ( I'm talking about you, Brianne!), and I had recently discovered Lularoe. And, before you get all crazy telling me I'm crazy.... this clothing line literally changed my life. It took a post partum Mama with low self esteem, and gave me my confidence back.
With a renewed sense of self, and a desire to change my life and get healthy for my kids.... I adventured simultaneously on a journey to detox off topical steroids for my eczema, and to get our family on the path to being cruelty free.
It was the start of,
How do we get our nutrition?
Why?
I noticed a change immediately.
I had more energy, I felt so much more positive.
My skin is still shitty, but it's to be expected at this stage of TSW. But, it feels better than it looks most days. Which, in and of itself is HUGE. Typically during a flare the depression and pain are so intense.... well, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
For the first time in my life: I'm eating veggies at every meal, I'm eating proper portion sizes, and I'm living my morals. I've lost 27 lbs in 6 wks, which...again, UNHEARD of for me. I've never lost weight consistently, and for my BMI I started at a solid 55-70 lbs overweight. (And thats with minimal exercise, due to sweat being painful on my ever flaring eczema at the moment)
I eat to live now, I don't live to eat.
I still love being in the kitchen, and I can cook anything and everything that we used to eat and love.... just meat free :0)
I find it funny, how many people have negative things to say. We aren't hurting anyone. I mean.... LITERALLY. ((lol))
Yes.
I've gone hard at this.
It's my LIFE, that I'm changing.
My husbands LIFE.
My kids LIVES.
Worth the effort....no?
In addition to being vegetarian, I've also gone gluten and dairy free.... primarily for my skins sake. And, I still eat 3 meals and 2 snacks a day
Trust me.
I don't go hungry.
If you're interested in how or why or...whatever, about our process, whether because you don't understand it or because you are curious to take the plunge yourself.... PLEASE just ask. :0)
In the mean time I will leave you with two truths:
1) I was an avid lover of a juicy, red centered beef burger.
2) there is a reason why we take our kids to Apple orchards, and not slaughter houses.
