Quite frankly: it fucking sucks.
I absolutely hate it.
Little decisions, feel like big ones.
Easy days, somehow turn into milestones and precedents.
I told y'all it wasn't always pretty.
It used to be fucking awful.
Then, it was very fluid.
Today....it's confusing.
I keep reminding myself, at the end of the day....we are all family. And sometimes---family blows. Sometimes, you just piss eachother off. And sometimes you can't reach an agreement.
And, agreeing to disagree is really smiles through clenched teeth.
I don't know when it won't feel so hard again. But I (hope) & know it's coming.
Every situation and every family waxes and wains.
We four are in a life long relationship, raising these boys. We all show up. We all love the fudge out of them. We all believe we are firmly planted next to the best decision for them. We are all blending, additionally, in our own homes while raising these guys. Not every day is magical when trying to navigate this. THAT I can promise you.
It's literally a cluster fuck.
I mean, really.
Look it up.
We certainly must all be pictured next to the term.
It's hard enough for one married couple to raise children under one roof, with two people who are in love and share similar ideals and values. To get them to reach an agreement on the day to day, ins and outs of parenthood.
We...well we arent doing that. We are trying to have two (realistically three) households overlap, raising a community of SIX children with SIX adults, each house with a set of adult couples who share very different views of how to turn these tiny people we are proud of, into adults we can be proud of, while making as few mistakes along the way as possible.
What.the.actual.fuck.
Right?
It's complete and utter lunacy.
But, here we stand.
We all still show up.
We all still love the ever living fudge out of these crazy babes.
So, on we trudge.
Some days, I want to cry.
Some days, I do.
Some days I swear, a LOT.
Some days, I have nothing good to say.
Because I don't know when it won't feel hard anymore.
I don't know when our books, and our pages will align again, and we will once again become fluid.
But for now I trust us.
All of us.
I trust my family.
Dysfunctional, though we may be at times.
And really, what's the alternative?
I know we are all doing our very best to hold fast to our household parenting values, while not stomping on anyone else's toes.
It's an ugly dance at times.
It's difficult not to get passionate.
But, we all keep going..... because those boys are what we are passionate about. And we will all, always....agree about that.
