Little Ones, with BIG words.

Bedtime.

Tucking in your children can sometimes lose its magic. It's something we do each and every night and, truth be told, every now and then we are more focused on the dishes waiting in the sink or the agenda we have at work the next day to really stop and enjoy what really is a magical time in our day. Putting our Little Ones to bed, tucking them in, holding them close, and kissing their little foreheads... it's something we forget to cherish from time to time.

But, today.
Today is Thanksgiving.

I took extra care tonight when tucking my Littles in and with helping them say their bed time prayers.

The boys share a bedroom, and thus take turns saying there prayers out loud.

Holden always goes first, because Gavin likes being the last one in the room to talk.

Tonight, Holden finished and Gavin began to speak.

Gavin gets stuck on things repetitively, his prayers are almost the same word for word night after night. So, this evening I prompted him to try and thank God for the things he is Thankful for. {All of his parents, Holden and Nola, his Wii, Artax, Gummi snacks....these things all made his list} Then I asked Gavin to pray for people who need blessings. People who don't have a Wii, or Gummi snacks, or maybe even lights or heat or a home.

At this, Holden stirred in his bed across the room, and responded with a puzzled look.

I asked him what was wrong, and he said, "No houses?"

"No honey, no houses. Some people don't have blankets or beds or even houses. That's why we pray for them. We pray because we want God to keep them safe and warm and to help them find a better life. We pray for those who need it."

At this, Holden burst into tears.

"That's so sad", he said.

I comforted him, told him it is sad but that we pray and we help. We can be Helpers.

I kissed my Boys, and tucked them in.
I turned on their night-time-sounds, shut off the light, and went to shut the door.

"Mama?"
I pushed the door back open, it was Holden's small five year old voice.

"I know what I want to do once I'm Bigger-Bigger."
I turned on the light.
"I'm gonna build the houses. I'm gonna build them waaaaaaaaayyyyyy big, up to the sky. And Gavin(turning to his brother)....you can make the lights."

Bedtime.

Bedtime is a magical time of night.
Don't forget it.

The dishes can wait.

The Reality of Being Grown Ups

It.Sucks.

For just as many reasons as it is a wonderful time in all of our lives, its also a sucky time.

Now as awesome, and adorable, and adjusted ( if I do say so myself =P ) as my family is...it does not change the fact that I am 26 with no college education between myself or my Husband, with three small children to keep alive daily. (Little Cooties want to eat EVERY DAY!? wassatabout???)

For the first time since he and I met, Sean and I are both working in "Big Kid" jobs. I have a desk, and snazzy business cards. While he dons a suit 3 (soon to be 4) nights a week. We finally have an income that allows us to (rent and) live in a HOUSE, and *gasp* have money left over at the end of the month.

Now, as awesomely awesome as we both are at said Big Kid jobs.... I work during sunshine hours, while he earns a paycheck under the cover of night. (All the while trying to convince me that he may, in fact, really be Batman)

So, the price I am currently paying in order to live in this adorable and beautiful house and to have dollars in the bank at the end of the month....has me sleeping in bed alone 5 nights a week, and the Hubster walking in the door as I'm getting ready for work.

It.is.HELLLLLLL.

I am a strong, confident woman/wife/and Mama.
But this shit sucks.

There are no words to describe the loneliness of being married, and still going to bed alone.
I have a new found appreciation for anyone in a relationship where one of you gets deployed for MONTHS at a time. Because I am throwing major hissy fits over not seeing Sean for 5 days a week.

I am so very proud of both he and I for FINALLY getting high enough up the ladder that neither of us is in water. It was hard. REALLY hard, especially without any college degrees to boost us up the ladder. But, here we are. We made it.

The first 6 weeks were ROUGH.
But, we are finally figuring out what our new schedules mean.
It means I need to set an alarm for 2am, and wake up to say hi to him when he walks in the door.
It means he needs to do laundry during the day while he's home, in between naps.
It means we needed to get AWESOME(r) at communicating. There is no room in a schedule like this for us not to be on the same page. One small hiccup on a Thursday in communication and we don't see each other in person for more than 45 minutes until Tuesday of the next week. And that....means so much of the fighting.
(Needless to say, several hiccups lead us to finding a fix and so far so good!)

But, alas....
I miss my Man.
The kids miss Daddy at bed time.

I guess I just need to hit the Lottery, and this can all be solved ;0)

Until then, communication. Communication. Communication.

I know some of my friends out there are having marital issues.
I know it isn't easy.
But all relationships have seasons.
Some are chillier than others.
But, then you need to start a fire!

It was very easy for me to be angry (unfair anger, but anger nonetheless) when I would have to feed 3 kids dinner, bathe them, put them to bed alone, clean the house, and then get into bed alone myself. I felt like he was abandoning me. Like, here I was. Six years into this relationship. And now that we finally don't have the financial stress..... I'm in this house, in my bed alone! UGGHHHH! Why?! How the Hell is that fair?!?!?!??!

It isn't.
But Life doesn't owe us anything.

I chose to skip college, start a family, and marry my Man.

So, if this is the season I'm in right now....I'll take it.
I have the Family of my dreams.
I have a wonderful job.
I have an amazing man who works all night, somehow finds time to sleep AND put our boys on/off the bus each day AND raise our daughter all damn day, before going back to work the minute I walk in the door at 5pm each night.
((OH! And did I mention he also has a part time job, so he works SEVEN days a week?! Because he does.)) ((I married a Superhero for real))

So, here we are again.
The Crazy Purcell's, and their unconventional way of doing things.

So, if you need me.....
I'll be up from 2am-3am saying good morning to my Hubster before we climb back into bed to finishing the night sleeping TOGETHER. <3