Getting to Love::: ME

As long as I can remember, I have been a chunky monkey.

Couple a natural distaste for sweating with an addict Father whose idea of a "Meal" was a bag of Slim Jim's and a side of potato chips...and you get a Lifetime of poor eating/exercise habits.

I've never liked how I look, and I have always been the heaviest among my friends. Now, while this has created a defense mechanism of awesomely awesome humor and a fun personality ((Yes.... I'm more Awesome than you. Put that in Your Juice box and Suck it.))..... I'd like to also look as good as my personality portrays that I feel.

I'm at a point in my Life where I feel loved and needed.
I have an AMAZING Family, and I want us to have all that Life has to offer.
I should be happy AND healthy.

For the first time in my life I am eating right, and I ENJOY exercise. Going for a jog with my baby, is one of the highlights of my day. I LIKE running around like an idiot at the park with my kids and knowing that I am having fun AND burning calories.

I'm not looking to be a size 2, that's just unrealistic for me. I just want to be able to look in the mirror and smile with what I see :0) We will see where this journey takes me, but for now... I am just excited that my clothes are fitting better, and that soon they won't fit and I will need a smaller size!

I am happy, and soooooooooooo grateful that Sean is so good to me. He tells me I am beautiful no matter what the tag in my jeans says....but for once, I'd like to FEEL as pretty as he says I am.

He is amazing, and he deserves me to try and be as healthy as possible. And Hell, let's be honest. Even Mama's and Daddy's have needs.... this couldn't hurt our sex life any! =P

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5/13/12

In honor of Mother's Day, I want to write about Mother's who have inspired me.
((My Inspirations will be in no particular order, and your ego should neither inflate nor deflate based upon your placement on the list.))

My Grandma- I grew up within the walls of her home, and her heart. She has been there for me, when no one else was. She is the most selfless person I know. And she is amazing.

Kathryn- One of my Best Friends. She had three beautiful Little Ladies, and puts them first above all else. No matter what hectic, crazy, run-around schedule the girls create with their never ending extra curricular activities....she is there, making sure their day gets completed efficiently.

 Erin- She is my favorite Floridian, and the best Mom in the state. She loves her Son, and her Stepson. She has crafted a Family,and  one that is crossing State lines no less! She somehow manages to keep it together while raising her son and also keeping tabs and sending love to her Stepson in Wisconsin.

Courtney- This Mama somehow manages to do it all! She's a Mama, Wife, Student, Teacher, Advocate, Jewelry Maker, Blogger, and I'm sure more! The way she is able to multi-task is seriously making the rest of us look bad!

Heather- The Mommy of my babies, and a Lady who has opened her heart to allowing me to have the title and the role that I do. She has overcome ups and downs in the last few years, that would send some women screaming and running for cover. She has met her challenges with a firm stance, and always kept her eyes on what the ultimate goal is: Her Boys.

Brooke- A Mommy on a mission! She is always there with something sarcastic and witty to throw your way, and she is always, ALWAYS smiling! This Mama never has a negative thing to say, and always seems to be in a constant state of "Glass Half Full". Rock on, Mama!

Nicole Eve- This Mommy never fails in amazing me at how dedicated she is. Years younger than most of us, and this chica puts some of us to shame. She works crazy hours, and still manages to be one of the most dedicated I know.

Cheryl- I am so lucky to have found this Mama. She is fun, and funny and her boys LOVE her. She lets them be who they are, and you can see how much they appreciate it. She is always there ((with a glass of wine!)) when I need her. She is an AMAZING inspiration, and I have learned so, SO much from her. She is forever making me laugh with her honesty, and the faces she makes when she is telling a story. Whenever I am with her, I don't have to pretend to be anyone else. :0) And for that....I appreciate every moment I get to spend with my friend.

Melanie- This Mama has been a happy new addition to my circle of friends. An afternoon of gossip and Girl Time on her back porch is enough to fix any problem. She is a fun time, and she is a Great Mom. She is fun when she needs to be, but since her girls have her attitude---sometimes this Mama needs to lay down the law! 


Lastly, I want to thank my very BEST inspirations....

My Babies <3 They are my Life's greatest joy. Everything I am, and everything that i do is for/because of them. Whenever my thoughts are weak...they strengthen me. They give me the courage to be myself, and to be Strong for them. I love them more than I could ever tell them. But I try to show them everyday. They are perfect, and beautiful, and best of all.....they are mine <3

Now, I know I haven't been able to wish ALL of you a Happy Mother's Day on here... and for that I am sorry. I hope you know that I love you ALL and that you each help mold me in some way. Whether I see a picture you have taken or read about the day you've had.... you inspire me to take a deep breath and to remember what matter in my moments of weakness. You have each aided me on my journey in some way, and for that...on this day, I am Thankful that you are a part of my life.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, Mama's. <3

everything

I don't know what I did to deserve them.

But, not one day goes by that I do not appreciate the fact,  that I do not deserve them.

I am not worthy of such happiness, or of this much Love.

I will strive each and every day of my life to become a good enough Mother, ((soon-to-be-Wife)), Friend, Confidant, and Safe Haven for them.

They are my Smiles, and my Tears.

They are my Heart.

They are my Soul.

They are my World.

They are my Meaning.

Photo by::: The  (( Soon To Be)) Ardent Lens
Heather Purcell

Just in case

Just in case I forgot to say it today.....






I love you.

:::2008:::

:::2012:::

And I will love you every day.

Operation: Team FAMILY

Divorce.
It should really be a four letter word.
Well.... for most people anyway.
For us, we like to spell "FAMILY" ::: p-o-s-s-i-b-i-l-i-t-i-e-s.

Some of you that have suffered a divorce (Yes, SUFFERED. No matter what the circumstances were, or what drama you dealt with::::They are never fun, and they must be endured. BUT! You CAN <and MUST> heal from them and MOVE THE F-ON!!!!) and  will CHOOSE to never move past the pain, anger, and the resentment to move onto a Happy Place.

For all of you out there::: SHAME ON YOU.
It is not you or your ex, or the Ex's new Girlfriend/ Boyfriend who will suffer. It isn't cool to make the Ex feel like a big pile of Crap-ola, or to make life a living Hell for anyone. Do you know who suffers and feels like a big steaming pile of poo? YOUR KIDS, dummy!

So to all of you out there struggling, ask yourself this:::
*Are you GENUINELY nice?
*Did you say "Happy Birthday", like you should have because Lord knows that just because you aren't in a relationship together NOW, it doesn't mean you forgot a day that you celebrated yearly the entire time you were with that person. Don't be a douche.
*Are you appreciative? (You can say thank you when someone is on time for a custodial swap, or if they don't bug the F-out if you happen to be running late.)
*Do you give some grace when following custody? It isn't nice to keep Tommy or Sally away from the other parent when you KNOW that it's Grandma's birthday at the other home and all you are going to do with the kids  is sit at home and do a whole bunch of the nothing you have planned that day. Listen Parent1, STOP BEING A MEANIE and let the kids go see Grandma with ParentA.

It is the SIMPLE stuff that brings you from WAR to Peace.
*Saying "hi" and asking how someone is, really does go a long way!
* "Thank You"'s aren't just for kids, those words can flow from your mouth too!!!!
* Be realistic: No one is perfect and life happens. Be ready to accommodate and to be flexible, because if life gets in your way you'd hope the other Parent would be willing to meet you half way too.
* HELP one another, if you see the other struggling with something STEP IN! ((Or at least ask)) You made that baby together, now suck it up and RAISE it together. You may have thrown your vows away as a couple, but the "For better Or For Worse" when it comes to a child CANNOT BE UNDONE. You are the only Mother and the only Father that(those)  kid(s) will ever have. You should help each other and be able to put the past behind you and look into your son/daughters future and see that getting slong is the only way to give them everything you have to offer.

For those of you who say this isnt possible.....Here::::

TEAM FAMILY

I am Team Mom, and behind the camera.
Gavin is up at bat.
Sean is one of the three Team Coaches, and standing there at First Base.
Holden is in the bleachers somewhere in this pic being a Dinosaur.
And that chilly lady decked out in a gray hoodie holding the cute baby-girl in Pink dead center in the background?
That would be Heather, holding and playing with Nola so that I could come steal this photographic moment.

THIS picture is EVERYTHING.
Don't tell me "But, I could never do that", "It's been too long", "We just CAN'T get along"
B-flippin-S!
We have had our rough waters, and we have seen many a storm.
But, I promisssssse! If you put in the time and energy, PROGRESS can be made. I am not saying it will lead to dinner dates, and amazement right away. No sir, that would be a lie. But....if you WORK at it, someday you could have normalcy instead of awkwardness. And your kids deserve for you to try to sit on the same set of bleachers at their games, and for you to go to the park together, and for you to do everything you can think of to make that happen.

I love that picture. I worked 4 years to have that picture. I am PROUD of that picture. That picture took work, and blood, and sweat, and tears. But, WE did it. WE made it through. And WE, know you can too.

Love,
Team Family