Divorce.
It should really be a four letter word.
Well.... for most people anyway.
For us, we like to spell "FAMILY" ::: p-o-s-s-i-b-i-l-i-t-i-e-s.
Some of you that have suffered a divorce (Yes, SUFFERED. No matter what the circumstances were, or what drama you dealt with::::They are never fun, and they must be endured. BUT! You CAN <and MUST> heal from them and MOVE THE F-ON!!!!) and will CHOOSE to never move past the pain, anger, and the resentment to move onto a Happy Place.
For all of you out there::: SHAME ON YOU.
It is not you or your ex, or the Ex's new Girlfriend/ Boyfriend who will suffer. It isn't cool to make the Ex feel like a big pile of Crap-ola, or to make life a living Hell for anyone. Do you know who suffers and feels like a big steaming pile of poo? YOUR KIDS, dummy!
So to all of you out there struggling, ask yourself this:::
*Are you GENUINELY nice?
*Did you say "Happy Birthday", like you should have because Lord knows that just because you aren't in a relationship together NOW, it doesn't mean you forgot a day that you celebrated yearly the entire time you were with that person. Don't be a douche.
*Are you appreciative? (You can say thank you when someone is on time for a custodial swap, or if they don't bug the F-out if you happen to be running late.)
*Do you give some grace when following custody? It isn't nice to keep Tommy or Sally away from the other parent when you KNOW that it's Grandma's birthday at the other home and all you are going to do with the kids is sit at home and do a whole bunch of the nothing you have planned that day. Listen Parent1, STOP BEING A MEANIE and let the kids go see Grandma with ParentA.
It is the SIMPLE stuff that brings you from WAR to Peace.
*Saying "hi" and asking how someone is, really does go a long way!
* "Thank You"'s aren't just for kids, those words can flow from your mouth too!!!!
* Be realistic: No one is perfect and life happens. Be ready to accommodate and to be flexible, because if life gets in your way you'd hope the other Parent would be willing to meet you half way too.
* HELP one another, if you see the other struggling with something STEP IN! ((Or at least ask)) You made that baby together, now suck it up and RAISE it together. You may have thrown your vows away as a couple, but the "For better Or For Worse" when it comes to a child CANNOT BE UNDONE. You are the only Mother and the only Father that(those) kid(s) will ever have. You should help each other and be able to put the past behind you and look into your son/daughters future and see that getting slong is the only way to give them everything you have to offer.
For those of you who say this isnt possible.....Here::::
 |
| TEAM FAMILY |
I am Team Mom, and behind the camera.
Gavin is up at bat.
Sean is one of the three Team Coaches, and standing there at First Base.
Holden is in the bleachers somewhere in this pic being a Dinosaur.
And that chilly lady decked out in a gray hoodie holding the cute baby-girl in Pink dead center in the background?
That would be Heather, holding and playing with Nola so that I could come steal this photographic moment.
THIS picture is EVERYTHING.
Don't tell me "But, I could never do that", "It's been too long", "We just CAN'T get along"
B-flippin-S!
We have had our rough waters, and we have seen many a storm.
But, I promisssssse! If you put in the time and energy, PROGRESS can be made. I am not saying it will lead to dinner dates, and amazement right away. No sir, that would be a lie. But....if you WORK at it, someday you could have normalcy instead of awkwardness. And your kids deserve for you to try to sit on the same set of bleachers at their games, and for you to go to the park together, and for you to do everything you can think of to make that happen.
I love that picture. I worked 4 years to have that picture. I am PROUD of that picture. That picture took work, and blood, and sweat, and tears. But, WE did it. WE made it through. And WE, know you can too.
Love,
Team Family
